‘Don’t be put off by the hermaphrodite polar bears….’ Thats the first sentence on the micro review Style.com posted for Mother of Pearl’s 2012 resort collection. I immediately am too intrigued to move on! Aren’t you? Deep breathe now- here we go- you’ve had your warning /disclaimer! 
Ok, that’s ok, I’m mildly intrigued and not scared…I like the shapes of this collection-they are all very summer wearable, but something is lurking in the tall grass , waiting to pounce…..
Um, ok- cute- eyeballs, perhaps? I could see this, looks comfy…..good arch support…..ugh- this is what my shoe rack would look like if my mother picked everything out. Neutral sensible wedges and good ankle support. Meh! 
Is that a matching rucksack! Are those browning roses? Monkeys? Tiny faces of Mickey Rourke? MMM, ok, when do those polar bears come in? 
Oh, I conjured them up…..oh……umm…..that’s kind of icky. I’d like to forget I saw that. I think I need to close my eyes and picture Audrey Hepburn in a nuns habit holding a persian kitten to cleanse my mind and soul. Lets all do it together on a count of three. Give it a minute, you’ll feel better. 
I’m peeking from between myfingers- I don’t think these coyotes have extra parts, do you? I can’t go thru that again. Mercy! Are those ankles elasticized?!
Let’s throw it all together for a birdy-eye Mickey Rourke pant suit ruck sack combo. So i think I like it all as pieces- I’d say parts, but that might bring the bears back…….I wouldn’t mind a Mickey Rourke head duster.
But let’s get your take on it- jury? whats the verdict? Does Emma One Sock carry these prints? Can I get a shopping report on that? If you need me, I’ll be praying for the citizens of the arctic circle. Maybe it isn’t global warming creating a hostile environment for them. They have far bigger issues than we knew of…..is there a Veterinarians without Boarders telethon in the works for this?
photo credits: style.com
Good Golly Miss Molly! These are all prefect for a Pajama Party! Comfy, Colorful and a rucksack to boot….did I say boot….I remember those Flash Dance high tops from the 80′s…Reeboks with ankle Velcro straps…next they will be bringing back fuzzy legwarmers and Jane Fonda…wait…she never went away! Those monkey faces or brown roses just look like a place where someone wiped their chocolate covered fingers hoping no one would notice. The first green dress look out of place except on a librarian. Who wouldn’t want giant coyotes on their boob area?
I like the 1st dress- maybe I’m a secret librarian at heart! It’s a very odd pairing with the rest…..
Hmm, I’m wondering just what kind of resort I’d wear any of that too. I don’t know, kind of sack like, but this time sack like with gawd awful prints. I do like some of the soft pleating details of the first dress, but heavens, I’m trying to figure out where it belongs in the collection. Maybe the vacation chaperone has to wear that one?
You raise a very good question, is it for the great wolf lodge perhaps? Art camp? Mickey rourkes vale condo?
Oh dear oh dear oh dear
Picturing Audrey really does help, doesn’t it?
Maybe if she was holding a German hound?
Tranquility achieved!
Speechless…well, not entirely. All I can say is that whatever resort she’s heading to, count me running in the opposite direction. Any vacay near where she’s supposed to be going, and my relaxing time away turns into a Nick-and-Nora-for-Target-pajama-prints-meets-Betsey-Johnson-gone-horribly-wrong nightmare. Truly, I might never recover.
Perhaps this is one of those instances where the runway show has no connection to what actually ends up in stores…let us hope so!
Love your blog
Oh, you are so right! Those Mickey Rourke heads look like N&N jammies! Throw in leopard background adn you have Betsey doing handsprings at the end of the show!
They kind of look like they were designed by a schizophrenic who has Attention Deficit Disorder and who also suffers from rapid cycling bipolar disease. No?
The tacky faces of Eve?
Let’s just say, all together now, “Thank God, EOS does NOT carry such prints!” What an oxymoron the title of your post is. Holy Mother of Pearl, indeed!
I’ve never seen this on the ‘design your own fabric’ challenge on project Runway- wouldn’t that b interesting!?
Lost for words.
Where was tim Gunn when they needed him??
Or indeed any gun?
a mercy killing and then a textile fire?
I know what this is….boutique wear for adults! Inspired by someone who saw those awful mixed print boutique outfits for little girls and said, “I want a grown-up version of that! With genitals.”
This is the part where I make you cry with gratitude when I point out that they could have done ruffled overalls.
Oh, mercy! overalls! Then Rhianna would buy them worn without a blouse and we’d all have to see them copied for H&M?!
SHHH! Not so loud….they’ll hear you!
Yeesh! I had myself convinced I didn’t see what I thought I was seeing, but then you went and ruined it for me. That which is seen cannot be unseen, and this whole collection surely needs to be unseen and unsewn!
It really is bizarre. Basic garments that we all would have made fit adjustments on- paired with acid flashback textiles!
Ya know, I think that first line is something they TOTALLY stole from my house. That kinda crazy comes out of there all the time.
Best to sleep with the lights on!
Love the first dress…definitely for the history professor that lives inside me. Also like No 2, looks cool and comfy and would look great w/summer shoe or sandal. I believe high tops from the ’80′s are making a comeback big time, so they need to get them on the runway NOW to seem ahead of the curve!?!
They don’t even look like new shoes! I do still love the 1st one- it gives me hope.
I don’t like those prints. I also don’t understand the Velcro hightops.
creepy. So creepy.
Why so many long sleeves for SUMMER? It’s over 90F here today. And why did they raid my 80s shoe collection that I can’t bear to toss yet? And why are the polar bears drawn from underneath so that we have Arctic bear vag? I do kinda like the yellow print backpack… And the basic silhouette of the Mickey Rourke- damn, baby lay off the plastic surgery and bronzer- print dress, even if the print is a misguided effort to be edgy.
Seriously- how does one entice a polar bear up onto a glass top coffee table for posing?? It sounds dangerous. I would work a Mickey R trench coat- I just knopw I could!
My dogs enjoy showing their butts so it is possible some of the ursine persuasion could enjoy a good coot flash. I’m sure you could rock a Mickey trench, but the real question is: wouldn’t you prefer a Trench Coat of Disgraced Actors? Mel and Charlie festooned on your ass. Mickey near the hem. Whom else could we add? Who would be the lapel?
Um. No. Just No.
That is so incredibly bizarre….
Is the new politically correct term for insane assylum “resort”? Gads that is terrible!